I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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