is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
