at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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