The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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