I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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