so that wasnt chicken after all
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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