we're blogging at a bar
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
