your parents love me but you hate me
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
