Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
4 words: hood of his car
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize
