would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
