what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
