I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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