the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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