38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Two words: blizzard sex
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
