i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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