Christians are straight up FREAKS
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
