im six kinds of drunk right now
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
