so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
