I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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