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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
