u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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