I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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