I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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