you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
