i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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