no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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