I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
