Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
