so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
