You're so nebulous sometimes
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
