you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
