i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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