Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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