I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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