um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
