So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
