We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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