Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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