Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
