I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
