I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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