I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
