I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
