I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
