Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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