I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
