We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
