Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
