I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
