I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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