I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
