accomplished twins. life is a go
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
