I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
