Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
