Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
