i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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